Hit and Run (Hot-Lanta #4) Page 10

  But having Winnie in his life changed his thinking ever so slightly. A small piece of him wondered if he could be the man he’d always envisioned.

  With Molly’s love and her patience, he’d found it easier to live a day-to-day life without being skittish. He still had his moments where his heart rate picked up, his breathing became labored, and he felt the darkness start to encroach his mind, but he never blacked out—a step toward making more progress.

  “Captain Underpants, you need to get dressed. Grandma and Grandpa are coming over to take you to the park.”

  The “P” word stopped Winnie in her spinning ways, standing and running in place.

  “Park! Park!”

  “Yes, the park, but you can only go if you remove the underpants from your head and put your shoes on.”

  Taking Molly’s direction, Winnie sprinted toward her room and got ready. No matter how many times Luke felt himself slipping into a dark place, he just thought of the little girl in his life with the curly blonde hair and his matching eyes. She could wipe away any of the darkness that tried to overcome his body.

  “Are you ready?” Molly asked Luke, taking in his clothes with a disapproving look.

  “Yeah, why are you looking at me like that? You don’t like what I have on?”

  “Your shirt is a little ratty,” Molly pointed out.

  Luke observed his shirt. It wasn’t ratty; it was just properly loved. It was one of his military shirts that he got when he first enlisted. Despite the small holes and faded logo, he would never get rid of it.

  “Nothing wrong with my shirt, babe.”

  Molly lifted his arm and pointed at his armpit. “There is a perma-pit stain. The color yellow rivals the pee color of a dehydrated drunk bastard. You’re changing.”

  Huffing out a little frustration, Luke went back to his room to change, Molly close behind him. Since she followed him into the bedroom, he thought he would give her a little show, so he pulled his shirt over his head slowly by grabbing the back and removing it over his head first.

  Just like he wanted, he turned to see Molly frozen in place, but instead of lust in her eyes, he saw concern.

  “What’s wrong?” he asked, his striptease put on hold.

  “Nothing.” She shook her head and put on a fake smile.

  “Don’t lie to me. What’s wrong?”

  Clearly afraid to answer, she bit on her fingernail.

  “Molly,” Luke gritted out, realizing what changed her mood. She saw his scars.

  Taking a deep breath, she said, “It’s just hard sometimes, seeing you in the daylight.”

  “That’s what I fucking thought,” Luke bit out, tossing his shirt to the side and digging around for a button up. “I can’t change what I look like, Molly.”

  “I don’t want you to change.” Molly was quickly at his side, trying to help him with the buttons on his shirt.

  “Don’t.” He pushed her hands away. “I don’t need your help.” He finished up the buttons and started rolling the sleeves.

  “Luke, don’t do this. Don’t close yourself off to me.”

  Irritation laced his veins. “Don’t close myself off to you? So, I am just supposed to let you look at me with shame in your eyes and be okay with it? I’m never going to be okay with you pitying me, Molly.”

  “I don’t pity you, Luke. It’s just…” She paused while she tried to gain her wording. “It’s just that I absolutely hate that you had to endure whatever those fuckheads did to you back then. I hate that I don’t know what happened, and I hate that I wasn’t there for you.”

  “You don’t need to know,” Luke said curtly, passing by her so he wasn’t in the small confines of the closet anymore. “I think I’m going to see Dr. Drake by myself today.”

  “Luke, please don’t retreat. We are supposed to have a couple’s session today. We should stick to the schedule.”

  “Fuck the schedule,” Luke roared. He closed the door, so Winnie didn’t have to hear their argument.

  Just like that, with one blink of the eye, Luke could flip his switch and lose control over something as simple as a look.

  He paced the room, gripping his hair with one hand, trying to calm his rage. Dr. Drake said when he was in these moments, where he wanted to scream at the world around him, he needed to take deep breaths and try to smooth out his beating heart.

  That tactic was proving to be a load of crap right about now.

  “Luke,” Molly said meekly.

  He glanced over in her direction and saw her defeated stance, the way she cowered when he turned abruptly. He still scared her. He didn’t blame her. There was a period in time where he would black out completely, not realizing he was attacking her until she was screaming in his ear, begging him to let her go. She had to have the same kind of flashbacks when he got mad.

  The blackouts were easier to control, but the pain and anger, they were still very much present. They were harder to tamp down.

  “I think I should leave,” Luke replied.

  “I don’t understand.” Molly stood next to the bed, slowly inching her way toward him. “Luke, I’m sorry if I made you mad or upset. It wasn’t my intention. This is hard for me too because there are times I don’t know how to react around you. I want to help you, but then when I see your scars, all I want to do is go ape shit on someone. I hate that you went through all of that. I don’t know how to handle my emotions either; you’re not alone. I think we need to work through this together, not run away from each other.”

  Molly had grown up in the years they were apart. Luke wondered if it was from losing him or mothering a child, but her wild ways had died down, and she really tried to be the voice of reason for them, something he could appreciate.

  “It’s not that easy,” Luke replied, his rage starting to calm down. “I don’t want you to know what happened. I don’t want you to see me like this, a scarred man.” He ran his hands over his face and then looked her in the eyes. “I’m Molly’s man, for fuck’s sake. I’m supposed to be the strong one, the protector. What those men did to me…they took that away.”

  “You don’t have to be the protector,” Molly soothed, coming up next to him.

  Luke threw his hands up in the air, away from her grasp. “I want to be the goddamn protector. Don’t you see that? I’m a military man, my entire life I’ve always been the protector. I don’t know what else to be.”

  At that moment, Winnie banged into the bedroom door. On the other side, you could hear the “umpf” pop out of little Winnie and then her fall to the floor.

  With a confused look, Luke ran to the door and opened it. On the other side, he saw Winnie sitting on the ground, completely bare from the bottom down, her underpants on her head, covering her eyes, and her shoes on her hands. Little blonde sprigs poked out from the leg holes in the underpants, adding to the crazed look she was sporting.

  The heavy conversation Luke and Molly were having quickly vanished as they both squatted down next to her and started laughing.

  “Winnie, what are you doing?” Molly asked, lifting the underpants up and over her eyes so she could see.

  “Undie-pants!” Winnie shouted with her hand-shoes raised in the air.

  The tension that was building in Luke’s chest easily evaporated from the sight of his daughter. Pulling the shoes off Winnie’s hands, he turned to Molly and said, “This is all you.”

  Molly didn’t even bother to deny it; instead, she just nodded her head in agreement. “You are completely right.”

  Luke sat on the ground and pulled Winnie onto his lap, cradling her to his chest, breathing in her fresh baby powder scent. Glancing up at Molly, he gave her a small smile. Visibly, Molly relaxed, her body loosening. She sat next to Luke and leaned against the wall. Luke grabbed her leg and gave it a squeeze while kissing Winnie on the head.

  “I’m sorry,” he said, trying to learn from his past mistakes, not to dwell on the past and to move forward.

  “I’m sorry, too. Are we still
going to see Dr. Drake?” Hope was in her voice.

  Luke shook his head, no. “Let me have today to clear my head, babe. Next week, when I’m fresh, I will have you come with me. I want to talk to Dr. Drake about this conversation we had and see where I faltered.”

  “But wouldn’t that be best with me in the room, so I can learn too, Luke? We don’t have to talk about what happened to you or anything you’re uncomfortable with, but at least let me learn too. We’re in this together; I need to know how to talk to you properly, how to read your cues, and if Dr. Drake has some suggestions, I would love to hear them. Please, let me be a part of this.”

  Even though Winnie had eased some of the tension in the room, Luke still wanted to dissect what happened, needing to talk it through with Dr. Drake by himself to make sure it didn’t happen again. He wasn’t sure he could be completely candid with Molly in the room. What if he let something slip? What if he talked about the past too much? What if she found out something she wasn’t ready to hear? That he wasn’t ready for her to hear?

  He shook his head, but stopped when her hand grabbed ahold of his jaw and forced him to look her in the eyes. “If you are uncomfortable at any point, I will leave. Just give me the chance.”

  How could he say no to her, after everything she had gone through? After the amount of pain and suffering he put her through? She had been by his side through the hardest times, when he wasn’t able to hear a loud noise without crawling into a hole. The least he could do was try to be the man she deserved.

  “Okay,” he replied, pulling Winnie in closer to his chest.

  “Thank you.” Molly kissed his cheek and then cuddled into his shoulder, hugging Winnie as well.

  Together, they rested on the floor as a family. Luke knew what love was, but right at that moment, he didn’t realize love could be paralyzing, because even though he wanted to, there was no way he would be able to get up. Winnie and Molly crippled him.

  Chapter 7

  **Brady**

  “Slow the fuck down,” Brady said, hobbling after Marc.

  “Dude, Patty told me not to be late or else she would have my balls.”

  “Can’t you spare your balls for me just this one day? Deek had me doing fifty yard sprints for an hour today. I can’t fucking feel my legs.”

  Every muscle in Brady’s body was screaming at him right now. Instead of sitting in an ice bath for an absurd amount of time, Brady took the quickest shower of this life, boarded a plane, and flew to Atlanta to meet Marc, Patty, and Jane at a bakery for a little cake testing. He had to fly back out later tonight. It was a grueling couple of hours, but he would do pretty much anything to get Jane back, even if it meant tricking her into seeing him through his best friend’s wedding. He had no shame.

  “I’m already putting my neck out on the line with this wedding plan idea, pretty sure you owe me a favor, so move the fuck along.”

  They were a block from the bakery, and Marc, even in his age of retirement, was busting ass with the style of a professional power walker¸ hips swaying and arms pumping frantically. He was serious about not disappointing Patty. Brady knew the feeling.

  Despite the tightness in his quads, Brady caught up to Marc and said, “So, what’s the plan of attack? Am I just going to walk in there with you?”

  Marc gave him a weird look. “What else would you do? Wait until your walk-out song came over the speakers to walk through the door?”

  “Fuck you, man,” Brady laughed. “I wasn’t sure if we were just going to bombard them.”

  “Them? The only person you’re bombarding is Jane, and you might as well just get it over with. I will have you know, though, if this goes wrong, Patty will be very upset with me. She is already on edge about using our wedding to get you two back together.”

  Brady was afraid of that.

  “Tell her I will write you the fattest check as your wedding gift if she lets me continue to intrude on the planning.”

  “Do you really think I need your damn money?” Marc asked.

  “Well, you did just retire, and your career wasn’t even as close to being as successful as mine…”

  Brady couldn’t finish his sentence before Marc turned and punched him in the arm.

  “Dude!” Brady whined, rubbing his shoulder. “Go for the catching arm.”

  “Don’t say stupid shit and I won’t hurt your throwing arm.”

  Brady laughed. Marc, in fact, was one of the best catchers Brady ever had the privilege of playing with. He was an Atlanta favorite. Second to Brady’s jersey sales, Marc was right there with him. A forever Brave Marc would always be.

  Before Brady could reply back, Marc stopped in front of a shop with a white brick façade and a black and white striped awning. There was an expansive window in the front with three wedding cakes on display, all covered in ornate sugar flowers. Brady wasn’t much of a cake connoisseur, but from the look of it, this bakery was legit.

  “Be good,” Marc said to Brady before entering. “Take it easy; don’t pounce right away.”

  “I got this,” Brady eased his friend, even though he was nervous as hell.

  He wondered if Jane would leave once she saw Brady. Would she be furious or would there be a small part of her that was relieved to see him? He hoped it was the latter.

  They walked in together, taking in their surroundings. The walls were white, matching the exterior, with black furniture scattered around the entryway. To the left there was a counter with a register and a small case with intricately displayed mini cakes. Sugar filled the air, letting every customer know that even though there were not a lot of cakes in the case, they did an immense amount of baking in the shop.

  A woman in her mid-forties with a black shirt and blonde hair approached them. She looked like your every day, all-American girl with a few wrinkles around her eyes. She held out her hand and introduced herself.

  “Hi, I’m Susan. You must be Mr. Sullivan.”

  “You can call me Marc,” he said, taking her hand in his. Marc turned toward Brady and said, “This is my best man, Brady Matthews.”

  “Mr. Matthews, it’s an honor,” Susan said, her cheeks blushing, pulling a smile from Brady. “The girls are in the back. I will lead the way.”

  As they walked to the back room, Brady elbowed Marc. “Clearly a Matthews fan, not a Sullivan,” Brady teased.

  “She better become a Sullivan quickly if she wants my business,” Marc said between clenched teeth so she couldn’t hear him.

  Before they even got to the back of the shop, Brady could hear Jane talking excitedly to Patty about round cakes versus square. The passion he heard in her voice was refreshing. He hadn’t heard that much passion from her in a long time, and Brady wondered if maybe this wedding would be a good thing for Jane; maybe it would get her back in her groove.

  “The men are here,” Susan called out as she pushed back a curtain to the back room.

  “What men…?” Jane asked, looking up, her eyes going straight to Brady’s.

  Shock was the first thing to register through her eyes, followed quickly by anger.

  Yup, Brady didn’t think it would be that easy; he geared up for a long night of cake testing.

  “Hey, Sully,” Patty greeted Marc with a hug and kiss, then turned her attention to Brady. “So glad you could join us.” She wrapped him in a hug.

  “Wouldn’t miss it for the world,” Brady said, looking straight into Jane’s eyes.

  Not picking up on the tension in the room, Susan began her speech about what the bakery had to offer, how quickly they could get the cake designed and completed, as well as the many varieties of flavors they had to offer.

  “I heard your favorite flavor is carrot cake, am I right?”

  “It is,” Marc lit up. “I remember sharing a carrot cake cupcake with my girl one day after playing Frisbee in the park.”

  “Sharing?” Patty asked, shocked. “Is that what you call sharing? I distinctly remember you grabbing the cupcake out of my mouth and ea
ting it.”

  Marc chuckled with Susan while Jane stood off to the side, avoiding eye contact with everyone in the room.

  “Took it out of my mouth? Okay, exaggerate much?”

  “Never,” Patty said, kissing Marc on the mouth, the passionate look in their eyes only made Brady want to search for a trashcan to throw up in.

  “You two are adorable,” Susan clapped with glee.

  “Excuse me,” Jane said, moving past an embracing Marc and Patty.

  The soon to be married couple both watched her walk away and then turned to Brady for advice as to what to do.

  “You stay here and talk to Susan about your cake. I’ll take care of her.”

  Patty gently grabbed Brady’s forearm. “If she doesn’t want you here, if she can’t handle it, then this plan is over. You got it?”

  Knowing this was Patty’s wedding and she had the overall say, Brady nodded his understanding.

  Brady blew past the curtain and saw Jane looking at a black and white picture of the Atlanta skyline that was hanging on the wall. Carefully, he walked up behind her to see what had captured her attention. The picture captured true Atlanta fashion, traffic clouding the freeways twisting within itself with the bright lights of the city in the background.

  “Jane, can I speak with you?” Brady asked, startling her.

  Slowly, she turned around to face him, peeking past his shoulder and over to the room Patty and Marc occupied to see if they had privacy.

  “We can talk over there,” Brady gestured to a secluded corner in the back. To his surprise, she nodded and led the way.

  Brady wanted to believe the subtle sway in her hips was for him, but he knew better. He knew that was the natural walk of his wife, his sexy, beyond gorgeous wife.

  They secluded themselves in a corner, past a few chairs that were meant for having a casual conversation. Too bad Brady could feel the heaviness that sat between them; there was nothing casual about the conversation they were about to have.

  Despite the fact that Brady was mad at Jane for wanting to give up on them, Brady still couldn’t look past the all-encompassing love he had for the woman. She wore a tight fitting green dress, showing off her every curve, along with a pair of simple black heels with her hair tied up in a bun. She looked sophisticated and sexy at the same time, a look he would only expect from his wife.